‘Courage isn’t having the strength to go on - it’s going on when you don’t have the strength’. Napoleon Bonaparte.

 I remember watching an episode of Loose Women in which Janet Street Porter was on the panel and she said something that surprised, but pleased me, in a way.  It was honest.  She said that as she gets older, something new drops off every day - meaning, I guess,  that she seems to have a new symptom, or health problem daily. And she doesn’t have Fibromyalgia! But it does sound familiar to me.

This last few days have really challenged me and the mornings, especially, have been really hard and I think it’s during times when I feel so ill, that I miss someone being around. It’s one of those odd things, isn’t it?  Sometimes, all I want to do is be alone as I think I can handle it better, but I also miss someone being around to pop the kettle on, or distract me with their chatter, or just to give me a hug.  

Near the end of August, I had a dose of Covid (or a dodgy test which was undecided) and I have struggled to shake it off.  On September 21st, I began with acute sinusitis and I really wanted to weep, which is quite unusual for me, though at first I thought it was tooth infection, as it was so painful. As they day went on, I began to have headaches, pain in my face and ear, congestion and chills and wondered if may be sinusitis, which I have suffered with for many years, but I’ve never had such intense pain before. I could only manage drinks, soup and very soft veg, and I was really tired and could have gone to sleep at the drop of the hat during the day, but not at night.  The next morning, I realised I was running out of painkillers and would need to go to the chemist,  as I had run out of painkillers and needed the capsule form as they have least impact on the IBS, but they also take effect more quickly too and I needed quickly!   I wasn’t sure I would make it, as I also felt so slow and nauseous, but I took my time and plenty of deep breaths.  It’s difficult to find  a good strength painkiller that doesn’t react badly with my IBS and I usually end up with Paracetamol capsules, which I didn’t expect to help much. However, after a few hours the pain in my gums began to dull a little, though it was still too painful to eat. Today, is my third day and my worst morning, as I really felt ill and in a lot of pain and avoided brushing my teeth. I sometimes think there must be someone out there with a voodoo doll, just putting pins at random, because during the afternoon, my stomach began to cramp.  As usual, I went over everything I had eaten during the day, but nothing was different - in fact, my diet rarely varies, because I don’t want to upset my IBS.  So - stress? Anxiety?  I don’t know, but I took some bicarbonate and decided I would try and relax in the bath. Did I say relax?  I tried and I lasted almost ten minutes, before taking my time getting out. I know there’ll come a day when I can’t, but it helps while I can …… usually!  The cramps were still there, but I could feel the pain reaching around to my back too and not my usual pain. I tried to eat a light tea; filled my hottie, and had some peppermint tea.  Nothing seemed to help and I found myself staying awake as long as I could, because I knew I was going to wake up quickly and in pain. They do say, that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but I’m becoming more of a wimp as I become older, and I struggle more with the pain than I used to. Again, it could be age, or being alone. I fell asleep eventually, but not for long and was up and down all through the night, as I expected.  However, the pain had eased a little and left me feeling nauseous, sore, and needing the bathroom.  

Moving on, it’s now a week later. Why so long?  It’s been a week of headaches; nausea; chills, sweats and fatigue - not to mention my ongoing IBS and I don’t want to bore you with every little detail. It’s been another of those gifts of Fibro.  A sinus infection which, unfortunately, there is only the usual over the counter treatment.   Antihistamines, nasal sprays, gengigel for gum pain; menthol crystals which I drop in boiled water and breathe in the steam, for clearing congestion; and paracetamol which is the only painkiller my tummy will allow. 

I find it odd that fibromyalgia is connected to so many other health conditions, rhinitis being just one of them.

Research has shown that fibromyalgia presents in the majority of patients -  Fatigue, diminished vitality, and increased bodily pain are common symptoms of chronic rhinosinusitis. On the other hand, there is an increased prevalence of rhinosinusitis symptoms among patients with unexplained chronic fatigue and/or bodily pain. Fibromyalgia syndrome is characterised by widespread pain and fatigue.   

Today, I am feeling better than I did - less pain, still have the sinus problem, but they say it can take weeks and I’m trying to get a little exercise; sticking with the gengigel, steam and painkillers.  And I’m enjoying my music and dancing around as if no one is watching, because they aren’t, lol.  

I feel very blessed to be feeling better and grateful for the ability to smile - it does help. And to laugh at myself too when I’m struggling to do the simple things, like washing my hair, or putting on a pair of leggings, trying to put on a coat, trying to fasten buttons …………

I hope you’ll forgive my boringly long post - if you’ve made it this far, and  I hope you will agree with me, that it does take courage to go on when you don’t have the strength; but tomorrow is another day. Or as my brother always says - tomorrow will be better 😀

looking back on this script and the mess I seem to have made, I do hope so! 

Namaste