My Life - My Fibro

Just a short post this morning, but I feel now that it's best to write things down as I think of them. Over the years, I've tried many different ways of easing the pain in my body, especially at night time. Somehow, I cope better in the day, but the nights are testing! I've been the butt of much laughter many times, as I wouldn't stay overnight anywhere unless I had a spare duvet to sleep on and my own pillow. Has anyone tried sleeping in a duvet sandwich? I'm sure someone has. Unfortunately, being sandwiched between two duvets is like being in an oven - it's warming, but soft on the muscles. We need both sometimes. When I was first diagnosed, I would fall asleep with a heat pad across my shoulders, but would wake up in pain after it cooled down. I've tried many rubbing creams, oils, tens machine, etc., and I've read many books on coping with fibromyalgia, as I'm sure we all have.  We're advised to exercise and I know how difficult and painful...

I think today is the coldest day of the winter so far - I just can't seem to get warm today, even with four layers of clothing!  I don't mind building up the layers and have plenty of cardigans for the job, but my hands and face are feeling quite cold! But I'm not complaining, just saying :-) I find it hard to believe that we're almost into the middle of February. where did the last few months go? I get up every morning (thank goodness) and go through the motions of the day, but I feel pretty much like a zombie - there is no joy inside. I still feel in awe at my first sight of the snowdrops, but my partner is no longer here to share that joy. I've been told that it gets easier; I've been told that it's common to feel guilty to be the one still alive; I make myself something to eat, but it has no taste; I begin to sort out his belongings and I find myself wailing at the thought of giving them away. I want him to live; to be alive - and yet, he is, because ...