My Life - My Fibro

When my consultant diagnosed me, he said that a lot of his fibro patients had a traumatic childhood too and he believed that there may have been a link between the two. It may be so, but I know that for a lot of fibro sufferers, they became ill after an accident, or a bad dose of flu, or surgery. My symptoms became intense after I went into hospital for a biopsy, but I believe that it had lain dormant from a young age and the surgery brought it to life.  How many of us, I wonder, have similar personality traits too. I am a very sensitive person and tend to put everyone else before myself - I always have and think that may be because I wanted people to be happy. I couldn't hurt anyone, because I learned from a young age how that feels. I've been told that I’m very loyal, generous, forgiving and honest. Unfortunately, I've been hurt by most of the people in my life and I had to learn to accept the apology I never received. I wanted peace in my life and that wouldn't be po...

 I mentioned in my last post that I have been looking through my notebooks and one to the things that struck me was how I mentioned my fibro almost daily and the way it was affecting me and how it was making a difference to my way of life. In my more recent journaling, I mention the fibro less often and write more about the events in my day and how grateful I am for the things that I've achieved during the day. I write about the things that  me smile or given a lift to my day - or not. If I've had a bad fibro day - and I often do - I write how it's slowed me down and how much longer everything has taken me, but I don't say how bad my pain has been. It's a strange thing, but I hadn't really noticed before that I was doing that - not consciously anyway. I take that as a more positive thing in that I'm looking to the good in my days and not to the bad and that makes a huge difference' Last week was quite a memorable one for me, but for mixed reasons.  I rec...

 Does the above quote sound familiar to you - it certainly does to me and almost every morning. It made me smile when I read it, because I thought to myself,  someone actually understands!  I've been going through my notebooks (and there are plenty) and I found this found at the top of one of the pages and was written several years ago. I feel so tired; my body so weary; I've been following memories, chasing dreams, And my thoughts don't make sense, Do I? Don't I? Will I? Won't I? Can I make a decision at all?    Oh Fibro, fibvro, please leave me alone. Fibromyalgia seems to affect everything I do. Sometimes, in a small way, but sometimes so huge I wonder if I can cope with it, but I'm still here and finding ways to accept it and flow with it when I can.  Long ago, I decided that I couldn't fight it and trying to wasn't helping me, so I talked to people; did lots of research, read books and realised that I had to be kind to myself - something I'm not...