'Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day and something to appreciate'.

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 I mentioned in my last post that I have been looking through my notebooks and one to the things that struck me was how I mentioned my fibro almost daily and the way it was affecting me and how it was making a difference to my way of life. In my more recent journaling, I mention the fibro less often and write more about the events in my day and how grateful I am for the things that I've achieved during the day. I write about the things that  me smile or given a lift to my day - or not. If I've had a bad fibro day - and I often do - I write how it's slowed me down and how much longer everything has taken me, but I don't say how bad my pain has been. It's a strange thing, but I hadn't really noticed before that I was doing that - not consciously anyway. I take that as a more positive thing in that I'm looking to the good in my days and not to the bad and that makes a huge difference'

Last week was quite a memorable one for me, but for mixed reasons.  I received an invitation to book an appointment for my Covid 19 vaccination. I had been expecting it to arrive anytime, but was unprepared for the way it affected me. Yes, I had been nervous about having it because of the fibro - I knew it wouldn't like it, but also because the weather forecast was for snow and strong winds and a my journey would take me on a thirty five minute walk away along the cliff top.  On the good side, it was my favourite walk! I spoke to my surgery and they said that I would be recalled with the next batch if I didn't make it, but on the saturday morning, something inside just urged me to prepare as it was important to have it done, and I didn't look forward to repeating the whole appointment thing again.. I don't relish catching Covid either, especially with my other health problems which no one seems to believe or understand. As I set off, I felt very weak and nauseous - lack of sleep and food - and I arrived early. It had been ten months since I had last been so close to so many people and I found myself smiling at everyone - of course, it didn't occur to me until later, that they couldn't see me smiling through my mask. After a twenty minutes sit down, I was on my way back home and feeling very proud of myself because I had done it.  I had a very lethargic afternoon, but the full effect of the vaccine didn't hit me until early evening and my body hurt everywhere. I was burning up and the soreness of my arm was barely noticeable, as it was just another part of the pain. I couldn't lay or sleep and I was on fire, or so I felt,  but the fever began to calm down by mid morning sunday and I was able to eat a little. By Monday, I had gained a little energy and today, I feel more my fibro self. Achey and tired, but able to potter. I haven't walked since saturday, but it's snowed every day and very icy - not inviting when you have painful muscles already.  but, I wanted to mention the vaccination in case anyone is feeling as nervous as I was.  Everyone tells me it was a good reaction and shows that the vaccine is working as it should to build up the antibodies we need.

I always mention how complicated fibro is and one of the things that people really don't get, is how much the skin hurts to touch.  Some mornings, I'll get dressed and then change into something much lighter because of the soreness I feel with the clothing next to my skin. Not so good this time of year when it's freezing.

On the good side, I am smiling as I write this, because I did it! Of course, there are more hurdles to cross before we can get on with a near normal life or dental visits, etc., but achieving a goal and feeling proud of it, may carry me through this pandemic with a little more belief in me! 

take care and stay safe.

Namaste

I love these little fellas - they do make me smile :-)



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