Be careful what you wish for ………

 A lot has happened since my last post and I think my heading explains a lot!

I’m not sure that moving into a listed cottage was really what I wished for, but I was persuaded to think that it was.  It was an idyllic place to be, within a valley, but with sea views and somewhere that I knew well and had happy memories of.  My house went up for sale, and off I went with plenty of helping hands, and the first six weeks were hard work, but I didn’t mind because I was falling in love with the place. And I thought it liked me! 

I mentioned in my previous posts that several people I had spoken to - pharmacists, nurses and friends, had suggested that it was an allergy to damp and though my doctor couldn’t say for certain that it was damp, he was sure that the humidity in the cottage was much too high, which we know can lead to damp. Having searched everywhere, I found no evidence of mold, but was told that it could be within the walls, or ceilings and covered up. That was certainly possible, as the ceilings had been boarded and the eaves were inaccessible. But the cottage was old too, with little insulation. I accepted that it would be cooler than most properties and, if I hadn’t become ill, would probably have stayed there and wrapped up well.

I did, however, have extensive blood tests and have a very black, sore and battered arm to prove it. It’s now faded a little into a dull purple. The nurse looked about twelve, so may have had little inexperience. I guess they have to dive right in there!  The results didn’t show anything that might mean I have an allergy to mold, but did say that I had a high chance of having a heart attack or a stroke in the next ten years and should change my diet. I don’t smoke; I don’t drink; I excercise and love walking, albeit slowly; I don’t eat sweets or ice cream; only have the odd cake; eat lots of vegetables; and eat yoghurts, cheese, quorn, plant based food, and eggs for protein. I don’t really know what to cut down on, l am five foot two, weigh six stone ten pounds, but my cholesterol, apparently, is high.  I’m also beginning  to realise how dull my life might sound to others.   I did explain to the nurse that I had read that stress can cause an incorrect and high reading and I didn’t think it was the best time to have it done. But I think she had a box to tick and I went ahead, thinking it would probably be ok. Could having fibro make it harder to draw blood, I wondered, and it seems that it can.  The list seems to grow  - I think my body is as confused as me! 

To cut short my story, my doctor suggested moving out quickly and I did, but without my furniture, just a few clothes, a tv and my cat. I’ve been sleeping on the floor padded by lots of duvets and my pain is at a high! Unfortunately, I still have to visit the cottage (with a mask) and finish packing up my things, before I can organise removals.  The strange thing is, the family were keen to help me move in, but aren’t interesting in helping me move out!  I wonder why they thought I’d need help moving in, but not moving out! So, alone it is, and I need to be strong and brave, as there is so much to do yet!  I keep telling myself that I can do it - after all, I do live with fibro! 

Have I learned anything from this?  Yes - that trousers and long skirts bring comfort and cover a multitude of sins - especially when my legs are red and itchy. Though, it’s not confined to my legs and can be very embarrassing if out in public. And that many things could easily made worse by fibro, maybe not caused, but exacerbated the symptoms. And, maybe, made me more susceptible to many things.

Should I be surprised at finding that I have an abnormal allergic reaction to something I can’t see? It’s classed as allergic rhinitis and I seem to have every symptom possible, with the latest being a crackling sound in my ears, which reacts and becomes louder when I boil the kettle, or I am passing traffic. 

  I think, that since I was diagnosed with fibro and finding more and more, the symptoms that come with it - no, I’m not surprised.  It’s a complex illness, but an illness it is and somehow we have to find a way to live alongside it, and enjoy the moments. 

I wish everyone a peaceful and pain free night.

Namaste