Courage isn’t having the strength to go on - it’s going on when you don’t have the strength!

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 I talked a lot about smiling in my last post - too much, but it’s the way I’ve dealt with things - smile as if everything is okay; smile because it feels better than tears; smile because it makes the bad memories soften a little - People can take away many things, but not my smile. When I was working my boss always knew when I had made a mistake or was struggling with something because I always laughed to myself. I still do it now when I’ve done something silly and we do a lot of silly things with fibro fog!

My day began at half five after a very sticky and unsettled night. I sat up slowly and put my feet over the side of the bed - I did have one of those bed rails fitted for a while, for me to pull myself up, but it didn’t help! You need a little more muscle power than I could manage.  So now I opt for the slow motion method. I learned from a friend, that it’s best not to stand up straight away, but to get your bearings first, otherwise a topple and a breakage come easily. My friend broke both her ankles standing up too quickly after waking, but still half asleep.  I used to begin my day by putting the kettle on for a mug of hot water and then getting washed and dressed after drinking the water and meditating, but I was putting off getting up, so now I wash, etc, before I have my water and I feel better for it. It’s becoming automatic! 

My legs are not too happy at the moment and I’m having some very painful cramps at night. How painful they are!!  Over the last couple of years, I seem to have developed some varicose veins and have been putting it down to that a little (yes, a silly thought) but I read an article recently about fibro and muscle cramps - who would have thought that it could be another fibro symptom!  Also, spider veins in the legs, can also come along with fibro! Gosh! I’m still learning every day, but somehow, I feel better for it - for learning I mean, not the cramps or the spider veins, lol. Anyway, it’s prompted me to be more strict with my stretching and that helps too. At least, I think it does! 

A silly thing I did today, was to put the lead from my soup maker into the freezer and luckily I realised quickly what I had done. Brain fog is a strange feeling, but I try to see the funny side of the things that I do. And I do many! I have some paperwork that I need to catch up on, but I really can’t get motivated - my head doesn’t want to deal with it, but I must at some point. 

So today, the sun shone and I was able to sit in a shady spot in the garden and it felt good. At lunchtime, the thunderstorm came and we had heavy rain all afternoon. I don’t mind thunderstorms and my garden welcomed the rain, but it made me feel quite lethargic somehow.  

The rest of my day has been filled with music, dancing in a fashion, laughter yoga (someone bought me a book), meditation and positive thoughts.  My glass has always been half full and I hope it always is.

My days must seem rather boring, but I try to be mindful in everything I do throughout the day. It helps to be in the moment and I do love the moments, despite the fibro!  I have so much to be thankful for.

Namaste






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