Who am I?

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When I was young, I rarely spoke - little girls were seen and not heard!  But there was more to it than that; I learned that there was little difference between speaking and not speaking, as the results were much the same. I felt the hardness of hand And the coldness of voice.
Why am I thinking of this now - today?
I have an invisible illness that has an impact on my whole life. What I can eat; what I can do; what I can feel. It does it's utmost to stop me from having a life. If I speak of it, I'm being negative and moaning; if I don't mention it, I must be okay. If I have to cancel arrangements, I'm told that I'm mad and 'abandoning' my quality of life - it seems there's nothing wrong with me and therefore, I should be on medication just for thinking there might be.
Again, it's easier to keep quiet, but I face judgement whatever I do.
In between the child and the now, I worked, married into an abusive relationship, became a mum, supported and encouraged all around me to fulfill their potential, passed my driving test, child minded for anyone who needed me, went back to work part-time, eventually full time, with a career - one I loved, children at university, divorced. I'm proud of all I achieved.(well, most things anyway :-) This little girl who grew up with fear, has always lived with fear, but has managed to achieve a lot and it's the thought of that strength that keeps me battling on. A Fibromyalgia Warrier!
When I was diagnosed by my consultant, he prescribed the usual medication of pain killers, anti-depressants, sleeping pills, sedatives, etc. I've tried many and with different results. In the end, I realised that none of these were helping me and decided to help myself more. I've tried many alternative remedies and I've done lots of research. I keep my head and my hands busy and enjoy learning and crafting. I also enjoy people (though I rarely see anyone), even if they don't enjoy me, lol.
Who am I?  A mum; grandmother, sister, friend and a warm, generous and joyful person.
No-one is going to take that away from me!
Namaste.

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