'Courage doesn't always roar. sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow' Mary Anne Radmacher

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The first thing I want to say is that I am not mad and I am not a hypochondriac. But you all know that, I hope. I only wish that my family and my doctor did!

I still find it hard to understand why I can go to the doctor and tell him that I have migraine, or backache, and he will believe me, but when I describe the many strange symptoms I have, that belong to the fibro, he just puts me down as a neurotic woman. No, I am not!  The pain I feel is there! The burning, soreness and itching on my body is real! The pain that can be agony one day, might have moved to a different part of my body by the next day! Or a new pain may have joined it the next day! Or that my teeth and gums can be constantly sore and can be covered in ulcers one day and are gone a few days later. that I bruise for no reason and it can take months to heal, as does any injury that I have. Dare I even mention the number of times it feels as if something is crawling up my leg, but when I look there's nothing there.  Or am I fooling myself and there is a kind of madness here?  Fibro madness! 

It's a crazy, complicated illness and it's mine. I've been reading The Guest House by Rumi and meditating more on acceptance. I decided long ago, long before I was even diagnosed with fibro, that despite the things that I was going through in life, they didn't have to affect my smile. in fact, I was quite young when I realised that it was a way of being happy, despite the circumstances'. someone up there was looking out foe me and I do believe they still are, because for some strange and wonderful reason, I am still here.

I seem to have spent my whole life putting everyone else first - making everyone else happy - and seeing them happy made me happy. I wonder if that's another common thing amongst fibro sufferers. I had a very traumatic childhood and marriage and I think that made it more important for me to ensure that no one ever felt as I did, especially as a child. And I've never been good at saying No!  Something I do have to learn.  

living with a chronic illness is hard enough without people doubting that there is anything wrong with you, but I know and I'm dealing with it in any way I can. Diet isn't easy as I suffer with ibs, but I do try to eat healthily. I have a short stretching routine which I do in the morning and I take short walks when i can. If not, I put some music on and it transports me to healthier, more mobile times. I do a lot of research online and I am still amazed at the number of symptoms that can occur with fibro. I'm not alone because lots of people read my magazine on Flipboard, which is where I share a lot of the information that I find.

I know that these symptoms will not be the same for everyone and I know there are maybe more, but I don't write about them with the intention of scaring anyone, but rather to not be afraid if you do share the ones that I have, though check with your doctor if it worries you. You may have one who actually  listens. I do hope so.  

Be kind to yourself.

Namaste

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