Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live. Jim Rohn

 I feel I’ve let myself down, because I haven’t been posting as much as I should have, but fog and pain tend to take over and my head seems to object to anything that I might want to write. Even my journal takes a back seat. Sounds silly, but it is how it is. 

The last few weeks have taught me a huge lesson.  

When I moved into my new build house five years ago, I had to employ someone to dig out some beds for me, lay some paving and plant some trees. I would have preferred to do it myself, but no way could I have laid paving, so I employed a local company whom I knew of. The owner came along to look at the garden and to get an idea of what I would like. He was lovely and had recently stepped down from doing all the heavy work as he was gradually accepting retirement. When I explained how I loved gardening, even though limited, he asked if I liked walking. Of course, I said yes,  and I do.  His words make more sense to me now than they did then as he said “Enjoy your walking, it’ll be healthier for you than gardening. All that bending, and lifting, required isn’t good for you or your back”. 

Four weeks ago today, I could barely move and was in tremendous pain. I learned long ago that there are different kinds of pain and some more bearable than others. It had been a busy week for me tidying up the garden, moving furniture around inside and preparing for visitors, but I hadn’t considered what it might be doing to muscles, or the impact that it was having on my body.  Four weeks yesterday,I decided to brush the sofa down and I leaned forward to reach the back cushions…..and I screamed! I felt the muscle pop and it was frightening and painful and I was doing something so simple. However, the work I had done during the week that led up to this had weakened the back muscle and it didn’t take much to finally strain it. For the first week, I ate standing up, read a book standing up, walked constantly with a stick, lived a moment at a time, screamed as I rolled into bed wondering if I’d be able to roll out again. After ten days, I managed to get off the bed without too much screaming and I felt such joy. However, I still couldn’t bend, or sit except on the very end of a hard chair. Getting dressed left me chuckling, as I tried to get into something to wear, and my litter picker was in use all day long! I screamed a lot and cried sometimes, but I laughed a lot too! 

So, what have I learned from the last month. That fibro has made me much more vulnerable to muscle sprains and I have to take more care of my body. It’s ten years since I first felt my back go and it’s happened a few times since then and usually in the summer. This time was much worse than ever before and it’s time for me to stop pushing myself. It’s easy to do when you live alone, and harder to live with a back sprain when you live alone. 

Today, we have some sunshine and warmth and I can see what needs doing outside, but I am being mindful of every move I make and hopefully, will carry on doing so from now on.  

My gardener was right - walking is much healthier than gardening! Although bending is still a problem, I  can walk and it’s helping me to heal. I am so very, very grateful to have some movement.

Fibromyalgia is very complex and painkillers don’t help with nerve pain, so I think we owe it to ourselves to be kind to ourselves and It’s something I have to learn. I’ve spent a lifetime putting everyone else first, so it’s something new for me.

If you’ve reached this far - thank you. I hope you’re having a good, low pain day, and remember to be kind to yourself.

Namaste