'In the blink of an eye, everything can change'.

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That's how I felt about the fibro'. "count slowly from ten down to one"  the voice was telling me as I went into surgery for a biopsy - I don't remember reaching number one, but I woke up a few hours later with an extra illness. Of course, I wasn't aware of it straight away. How could I be? All I could think of, was getting home and, hopefully, back to work after a few days. It took four months of frustration and many tests, as I tried to understand why I was in so much pain; why I was so exhausted doing nothing; why I couldn't sleep; why I couldn't always concentrate;  before my doctor suggested I may have Fibromyalgia. That was eighteen years ago and I still don't understand it. There were so many things that could have contributed - trauma in childhood; an abusive marriage; needing to be perfect; working long hours; going through divorce - or maybe it was just the trauma of surgery. My consultant thought a lifetime of trauma which I hadn't really acknowledged, just accepted and it had to manifest somewhere.
My life changed from that instant when I fell asleep in the hospital. 
If I look back over my life, there have been many occasions where my life has changed in an instant - I'm sure that anyone can relate to that too - but there have been too many changes and I wonder how much the human body and mind can adjust to.
The reason I haven't posted for some time is because my partner was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma early in June and in the moment it took the doctor to say it, our lives changed in a way I could never have imagined. 
My illness suddenly seemed so unimportant as I became his full time carer and my heart was breaking.

'The trouble is, you think you have time'.      Buddha

Namaste.



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